


"Friends"

by orphan_account



Category: Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (Short Film), dhmis - Fandom
Genre: AU, DHMIS, Gen, Notebook, Notepad - Freeform, Robin - Freeform, Sketchbook, colin the computer - Freeform, dont hug me im scared, donthugmeimscared, gilbert the globe - Freeform, harry - Freeform, hinted padlock, manny - Freeform, shrignold - Freeform, sketchpad - Freeform, tony - Freeform, tony the talking clock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 13:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tony, The Notepad, The Piece of Steak, The Spinach Can, Colin, Shrignold, and Gilbert the Globe set aside their differences while Harry, Manny, and Robin visit the park. Can they really give each other apologies when the time comes? Will they keep up this endless charade of fighting over who gets to torture the three for the rest of their lives? (AU. Non-humanized)





	"Friends"

It was a beautiful day in Chaos Park. The sun was shining, the sky was a clear blue, flowers were blooming, and the grass was as green as a frog. Benches were placed accordingly around the playground and the sound of an ice cream truck could be heard within a distance. It was a beautiful sight to everyone within its radius and was irresistible to families on a Saturday afternoon. Contrary to the usual traffic, the park was actually quite empty. It gave room to any of its occupants to refresh both their minds and their bodies.

However, it was not called Chaos Park for nothing.

For this particular Saturday afternoon came Harry, Manny, and Robin. Harry was a tall...well, hairy creature whose eyes lay on top of his head. Robin was an actual bird or duck thing incapable of flying that expressed his intellect. Manny was your average Simpson-looking kid that attended school. They were an odd fami- Actually, they weren't a family at _all_. Manny's mother passed away at birth and his father, Roy, was usually staring at walls. Harry and Robin were mere tenants that decided to take responsibility of the child in a platonic manner. It didn't stop any of the other families from giving them looks, though. But it wasn't because they looked _gay_.

Maybe it was because of the crowd behind them. 

A clock, a butterfly, a piece of steak, a computer, a notepad, a spinach can, and a globe. These 7 were behind the non-gay family fighting and hitting each other. It was completely normal for them, but for the other families at Chaos park, it was quite disturbing. Perhaps the fact that they were all inanimate objects walking concerned them more than their current arguments. Either way, it wasn't appropriate behavior and Harry was having none of it.

"Stop it, you guys!" Harry scolded them. Tony had been smacking Colin's screen, Shrignold kept bothering Notepad, Gilbert was tossed to the ground as the side character he was, and the piece of steak and spinach can kept yelling at the families on their dietary choices. They all paused in what they were doing at the chance of lecturing the family once more. Harry held a firm, finger-less hand in order to stop them. 

"No, I'm going to teach _you_. Both manners and respect." 

"That's _boooorrrinng!_!" Notepad remarked from Tony's hand. The clock was the one carrying them around because, unlike the others, they actually got _along_. They continued, "It isn't very creative. Maybe we can talk about our favorite colors!" 

"No! I've had enough of it. This is called a **park.** We went here today to calm you...whatever you are...down. You play, chat, and rest here. Not your usual shenanigans." Harry stated. He didn't look like he was going to budge with an argument. 

"Besides," Robin butted in. "Maybe you can learn a thing or two about each other? All you ever do is fight in our home. Take some time to get along." 

The puppets took a moment of consideration into hand. They _could_ learn who the other's names actually were and take a chance for a relationship to form. OR they could just beat each other's faces in to take dominance on torturing and lecturing the family to their death. They decided on the latter and ignored Harry as they continued what they were doing before. Harry sighed in defeat and started walking away.

"Wha- what are you doing, Harry?" Robin asked as he caught up with him. Manny followed closely next to the two as he took a last glance to the puppets behind them. It looked like a mosh pit from how violent it was getting. Harry threw his hands up in exasperation as he gave his friend a dull look.

"I'm done. Let's give them an hour or two before we head home and hope things are for the better." 

Yet, as the man took a glance behind him, he seriously doubted the latter. It would take some sort of miracle or a wish to get those 7 along. It was near impossible for the notepad and the clock to get along, but they did. Perhaps that was because they were the first two to come alive. Clearly, the clock didn't like company and the notepad hated being bothered about love. As for the others - he had no clue. 

\----------------------------------------------------

**"I F Y O U K E E P H I T T I N G M E , T O N Y , I W I L L E N D Y O U !"**

Tony took a couple of final punches before laying back in the grass and letting out a tired sigh. That computer was so old that it took him nearly an hour to send that message. And he was sure it was meant at the beginning of their quarrel. The other puppets were still bickering in the background and he heard someone get smacked. Whomever it was engaged another fight. As for Tony himself, he was officially tired. 

And _THAT_ was a rarity! 

The sound of Shrignold's voice came near him and Tony rubbed his non-existing temples in annoyance. _"Come on, Sketch! You've been single for - what? Years now!? You seem like a female by my standards and you should find a suitable male! If not, Malcom will surely be disappointed!"_

Next to Tony, a notepad scowled. They'd been enduring this for nearly a quarter of their life. The nerve! This Shrignold fellow surely wasn't a quitter. He'd been trying to get them in a relationship since Day 1. At first they were just politely denying his advice, but it got annoying quick. Repeating the same thing over and over just wasn't very creative. Not in Notepad's book. 

"I told you, I'm fine being single!" They pointed a pencil accusingly at the butterfly. "And if you don't scram, I'm gonna' draw something VERY inappropriate on your wings, bucko!" 

Shrignold, insulted at the gesture, flew away. Tony glanced in his direction and saw him helping Gilbert the Globe up. Maybe that was just a religion thing because no one liked him. Not even Sketch, who liked _everybody_. They bounced over to Tony and gave him a genuine smile with their stick arms behind their back. He raised an eyebrow curiously. 

"Heya, Tony! You look tired!"

Sighing, the clock laid back and rested his back on his hands. He said, "I really am. Colin's just too stubborn for me." 

The Notepad took a second to think. Ever since the two met, Tony and Colin always had some beef between them. Every time they locked eyes a new fight broke out. Tony was the one usually engaging them and Colin just rebutted. Maybe Colin actually put up with Tony, but the clock was the one ruining their plausible friendship for them. Why was that? The years the Notepad had known Tony, he was a pretty nice guy. At least to them. Was there a reason he hated him so much? Sure, Colin is annoying, but not the type of guy you'd want to punch his guts in within the sight of him.

Curious, Notepad decided to ask. They leaned over next to the clock and called, "Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm wondering," They started to inquire. "Just why do you hate Colin so much? Did he do or say something to you?" 

Tony scoffed for a moment but started laughing at the next once he realized the question. The Notepad sighed and looked away from him, thinking he wasn't taking this seriously. It took a lot of guts to ask! They were suddenly interrupted by Tony getting their attention.

"No, he didn't. But, you see, _his_ position threatens _mine_. In this 'digital world' of his, clocks aren't much of a necessity besides being tossed to the side and glanced at every once in awhile. He has one in the corner of his screen and has all these games on this desktop of his. I'm just a traditional, out-of-date model of him. I want to get RID of him." 

Notepad's eyes widened at the true answer. That eased all of their questions. So he was just attacking him to get rid of him so he'd be the newest model in the house? Tony was much more advanced than the Notepad was, but it didn't threaten _them_. A sudden realization came to Notepad and they gave Tony a teasing look.

The clock looked uneasy. "What?"

"So that means you're attacking Colin because you're insecure about yourself?" 

Tony stiffened. His eyes darted around for a quick moment before he regained his posture and adjusted his bowtie. This was a clear sign that the clock had an argument, but the Notepad knew they already won. Tony even hesitated when he replied to them. Ha! 

"No. I'm simply just....er....uh....I'm....well..."

"I knew it!" The Notepad pointed at him. "You're insecure. Tony the Talking and Walking Clock: Insecure. Boy, this is gonna' make the headline for my newspaper I make around the house!" 

"You mean the crayon mess I always see in the trashcans?" The clock gave them a look. "No offense, Note, but no one reads those. I glanced at one of them once and the best story you had was that Manny couldn't solve a riddle. It's pretty pathetic." 

The Notepad huffed in return and turned away from him. They took a minute or two thinking of a way to get back at him and sighed. They had to go back to their childish banter because that was the best they could do. They whipped around to insult Tony but went a little too fast as they fell face-first into the grass. The Notepad mumbled as they tried to use their feeble arms to lift them back up. Tony laughed. 

"You can't even walk properly! How on Earth do you expect to get the better on me?" Tony laughed. He felt a bit bad for them afterward and helped the Notepad up. They swatted at his gloved hand once they were standing. Tony took back his hand and rubbed it in pain. Granted, he didn't MEAN what he said, but it was true. The newspaper looked cute and all but it didn't have much potential. He decided to change the subject. 

"Since you asked me such a personal question," He blew on his hand. "I can ask you one, then. Why _don't_ you want a romantic relationship, Note?" 

The Notepad blushed at the question and looked away from Tony, crossing their stick arms stubbornly. They retorted, "Why would I? Relationships are so _boring_ and not very creative. You go out to a fancy dinner date, kiss, then rinse and repeat. It's an endless cycle!" 

Tony tilted his head. "You know not ALL relationships are like that? Manny and his Special One went to a rollerskating rink once. They never kissed and called it quits." 

The Notepad took this into consideration and shrugged. They said, "Okay, _maybe_ I'd want one if we did something different every now and then. For now, I'm with my art. It loves me and I love it. We're a cute couple."

"You mean you're married to that stick figure drawing on the fridge?"

"Yes."

Tony let out a wholehearted laugh. The Notepad joined in with him. The two seemed like a pair of ordinary friends surrounded by the chaos and fighting that engaged around them. It was like a spot of sun in a thunderstorm. Nothing could get past them. Not even the lightning or the rain. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

And, just like a thunderstorm, it passed.

The fights grew tiresome and, eventually, the arguments had no point and ceased. The 7 puppets now lay next to each other on the grass staring up at the sky. Harry, Robin, and Manny were looking shocked from afar but were smart enough to not come near them. Even when things seemed calm between them all, it wasn't safe. One remark or comment could start the whole storm again. 

Thankfully, no one said anything. 

The piece of steak and spinach can sat up and looked at each other. Some sense of tranquility came to them and it gave an easy atmosphere between them all. The piece of steak took off his hat to feel the breeze through his hair and sighed in contempt. The spinach can decided to enjoy the wind as well. When the piece of steak spoke up, all 7 puppets could hear it.

"You know, I'm sorry, Spinach. I know we have our differences in taste and it's taken me a long time to realize that." 

The other puppets started gawking at the apology and all of their eyes were locked between the two. Were they going to fight again or make up? It was hard to tell. Every one of their discussions always came to food and THAT'S where things broke out between them. The spinach can rubbed his back and shrugged in return to the apology.

"I'm sorry, too. I guess I'm just insecure because no one finds people like me appealing. If it wouldn't have been for some old cartoon with a sailor, I probably wouldn't be here today."

"That's okay, Spinach." The piece of steak came closer and hugged his friend. "There's nothing wrong about being insecure. I guess I am, too."

The Notepad nudged Tony pretty hard in the background and the clock let out a pained noise. Shrignold had his mouth agape from how gay the piece of steak and the spinach can's apology seemed. He decided to say nothing, much to everyone's relief. The two pieces of food decided to take a walk and parted from the rest of their friends. They actually said _'goodbye'_ to them! 

As soon as they were out of sight, Colin let out a mechanical scoff. They all turned to him in annoyance and he shrugged in return.

"What!? It's pretty pathetic."

Everyone except Shrignold rolled their eyes and decided to ignore the computer. He was never kind. Even in a moment of peace would he be the one to engage something bad. What was left was him, Tony, Notepad, Gilbert, and Shrignold. If there was any time to bond or apologize, now would have been the right time for them. But Hell would have caught on fire if Tony actually apologized to Colin or Notepad let Shrignold know that they were open to dating. Some doors should just remained closed. 

"Why are you so mean, Colin?" The Notepad suddenly asked. The computer, clearly offended at this accusation, snapped.

" **I'M NOT MEAN!** " 

"No, I'm pretty sure you are!" Gilbert raised his voice from the background. The rest of the puppets gave him a look to be quiet and the globe  sadly obliged. He wasn't going to do any good by opening his mouth. Colin crossed his arms and turned away from the Notepad. He never opened up to anyone or talked about himself. Tony sure was right about one thing: he was stubborn. Clearly, they weren't going to take that for an answer.

"No, seriously! All you ever do is insult people and bother us. Why can't you be nice for once?" 

" _Because!_ " He crossed his arms more firmly. "None of you guys want to come into the Digital World with me! It's really cool there and all I want is for you to enjoy yourselves. Instead, that piece of junk tries bashing my screen in whenever I mention it!" 

"Clearly because you deserve it." Tony swiftly replied. The Notepad gave him a look before turning back to Colin and resting a stick arm on his back. 

"Colin, if you would have told us that, we would've came! Personally, I've never been there, but it's just because I'm so busy. If you really wanted me to enjoy myself, I'll come. All you had to do was ask properly instead of demanding us to come with you." 

Colin slowly turned around to look at the Notepad. They were giving him an endearing look that made the computer smile. Notepad let go of his shoulder and waited patiently for his response. He totally wasn't tearing up or anything. The rest of the puppets stared in awe, especially Tony. The clock regained his demeanor as he coughed aloud.

"Sissy." 

Notepad punched his side and the clock seemed unaffected. Colin ignored him as he said, "Gee...I....thank you, Notepad. I didn't know you wanted to come with me." 

"Of course I do!" They exclaimed. "It's creative there, right?"

The computer nodded and sat up, looking fairly happy. Shrignold decided to ruin this friendly moment as he suddenly flew between the two and rested his cheek on his hands. This wasn't a good sign for anybody because it meant something about love was going to come up. Shrignold cooed at the two and nearly made Tony gag. 

"Oh, you two are just so adorable! I wonder if you're the couple for the next ritual for Malcom? I shall go ask him right away when we get home. I'm sure he'd love you two!" 

"Woah, woah, woah!" Notepad held up their arms to stop the butterfly from going any further. "I don't like Colin in THAT way! Sure, he seems nice right now, but he's not my type. I don't want to date somebody I barely know!" 

"Oh!" Shrignold was taken aback. "You mean...you _want_ to participate in love, Notepad?" 

At this, everyone except Tony raised their eyebrows in surprise. The Notepad blushed and waved their stick arms in denial. They looked like they were going to say something but was clearly too worked up to do so. Colin was taken aback by all this and simply stared at them. Shrignold got way too ahead of himself as he flew in circles, clearly happy. Tony looked like he was refraining the urge to punch the butterfly into a tree.

"Oh, I knew it! I KNEW IT!" He said dreamily. "I knew you'd come around, Notepad. I'll be sure to find a suitable male for you! In fact, I'm going to head with Malcom to discuss it right now!" 

As if God himself answered their prayers, Shrignold left the park in a hurry towards home. Harry, Manny, and Robin didn't seem to notice this as they continued walking around the park. Notepad flipped a page over their face to hide both their shame and embarrassment. Colin looked away awkwardly while Tony sighed and laid back. Gilbert decided to take this chance to finally speak his 3rd dialogue. It seemed like a good time as any. 

"Speaking of which, why do you guys hate me?" Gilbert innocently asked. "I've done nothing to you like that Shrignold guy has!" 

"You literally have _no point_." The Notepad looked up from their page. "There's no creativity to you. You're just a diagram of history that can't be changed." 

Gilbert hushed down and looked away, knowing he was the only one whose position was not altered today. He should've stayed home on that shelf. No one liked him and no one was going to do anything about it. He thought Notepad would've, given that they gave Colin a chance, but not _him_. He was a lonely globe with no purpose....They only purchased him for an assignment Manny had then tossed him on the shelf and left him to dust. 

"You know, I'm craving some ice cream." Notepad stated, blatantly interrupting Gilbert's guilt trip monologue. Colin looked at them in curiosity. Notepad noticed this gave him a look in return, as if to say: _what?_

"You can eat?" He asked. 

"If I have a mouth, I can eat." They stated simply. "Tony has one, too, and all he eats is pizza. Any of you guys got money?" 

"It's pizz _er_." Tony corrected them. "See, I get it from the past. It's different. And, no, we don't have money. You're going to want to ask that red guy for that." 

The Notepad let out a _humph_ as they placed their arms on their sides. An idea suddenly struck and an invisible light bulb went off above their head. They hopped closer to Tony, placing their biggest puppy eyes they could manage. Tony scooted back a bit once he realized what they were doing. No! They ALWAYS won this! 

Colin tilted his head at the two. It was weird to see the Notepad climbing Tony, inching closer to his face with some weird eyes. Were they flirting? He didn't quite know how this goes. 

"Wh...why me?" Tony suddenly asked, clearly tired and giving in. The Notepad started bouncing up and down in excitement. They got him! Ha! They climbed down, clearly proud of their victory and ready to milk it. 

"Because, silly! I've no legs. You do. You do everything for me! Ask him for a couple of dollars or so. Unless you want one or anyone else does." 

Tony sighed and nudged them aside as he got up and started walking to the park. He freaked some families out because kids started crying at the sight of him. He seemed pretty unaffected as he continued on his way without giving them a second glance. The puppets noticed Harry's sigh from afar. Notepad was busy wiggling around while Colin continued to stare at them. Notepad decided enough was enough and turned to him, pointing a pencil at him for a warning.

"You better stop staring, Colin! I don't like you. I've said it before." 

"It's not that." Colin shook his screen. "Just...how do you get him to DO that? He doesn't do anything for anybody." 

"Simple!" They lifted their pencil down. "He's my friend. He knows I can't walk around and do a lot of stuff like you guys can. He does the best for me 'cause he cares. He's nicer than ya' think, Colin." 

"Not to me."

"Then I guess he doesn't like you!" 

The two were interrupted by Tony walking by and suddenly scooping Notepad up. They let out a noise while Colin and Gilbert watched in confusion. He carried Notepad to the ice cream truck and let them pick out a thing or two. They soon came back with both of them holding a couple of cones and sticks. The Notepad settled on a Spongebob ice cream while Tony had a blueberry cone. It said a lot about their personalities, in Colin's opinion. 

Tony sat down and handed something to the computer. He said, "Here." 

Colin took it and unwrapped it, seeing a cotton candy flavored ice cream. He had no idea how Tony knew his favorite flavor. Gilbert waited patiently for his until he noticed that was all they were carrying. The globe sighed and rolled on his back out of sight. He wasn't appreciated at ALL!

"Thanks, Tony!" The Notepad nudged him and bit a gumball out of their ice cream. Colin simply nodded as he took a bite out of his and Tony just stared at his cone. The three of them took the rest of their time finishing their dairy treats until they sat there and waited until the non-gay family was done with their day. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

Manny had fun. That was all Harry and Robin cared about. They didn't come here for _them_ , but they supposed it was a little refreshing not to be bothered by those....things. Even when Tony came over, Harry felt relaxed. Maybe it was because of the years enduring this that he started to learn to live with it. He was going to make sure Manny wouldn't for too long. It was horrible having to die nearly everyday and brought back again. Especially for a kid. 

"How odd," Robin stated upon seeing the three puppets. "More than half of them are gone and the ones left are relaxing. Should we be worried, Harry?" 

The man shook his head. "If even one was gone, I'd be happy. It's not going to last for long, I'll tell you that." 

"Go...home..." Manny murmured below them. The two took a glance and headed to the puppets, telling them to get up and get ready. The piece of steak and the spinach can were probably happy where they were right now and Harry wasn't going to spend any time looking for them. Maybe he could use the kitchen tonight for dinner without being bothered. 

As the 6 headed home, Harry already had a feeling in his gut that things weren't going to be too pretty back at home. Luckily, he wouldn't know that the house had been burned down for a ritual for Malcom until he got there. That was the blissful peace about taking your time to walk home. Especially when you had 3 puppets behind you that finally weren't trying to kill you.


End file.
